Monday, November 24, 2008

The reality check

The last assignment has been finished, no more lessons, and I've just received my final marks.  It's over, it's finished, and perhaps what has most probably been the busiest year in my life since leaving school in 1988, has come to its end. 

Unfortunately though, I'm experiencing the reality of inertia, where mentally I'm flying a thousand miles an hour, but everything around me physically has stopped.  What I would like to do now is to work a few days a week, or even better a full-time job.   Though I have made many friends this year, the current employment environment is still an unwelcoming one for those with asperger's. 

With sending off a number of e-mails, and following up an application, I spoke to an employer who owns a company that specialises in digital music.  Within a flash, my breath was taken away with his full on "ENTITLEMENT" attitude; "what can you do for me, what can you do, that I'm not doing already".  His mind-set was very much, "I couldn't give a monkey's on who you are".  In the age where there has been so much more awareness of Asperger's, I kind of expected a more intelligent approach, particularly as the company was part of one of Sydney's successful radio stations. 

It seems the "Gordon Gekko" mind set is alive and kicking still in a big way, and that despite so much more awareness for employees and employers to become more casual and understanding in the work place, it seems nothing has changed.

I suppose I'm now getting to a very fine line without sounding to pessimistic, but then I also don't want to guild the lily.  I'm amazed with the amount of press I've appeared in, including television coverage, national and local newspapers, and radio interviews.  In particular there has been so much stuff on the internet, so much to the point that even a short wikipedia article has appeared about me.  Perhaps if Warragamba Dam is still empty, I could fill it to the brim with all the compliments and congrats I've received.  So through all that stuff, it would only be normal that for me to expect that someone has seen something about me, and to have offered me a job, but yet one month on there has been nothing.

My brother and I spoke about some current affair issues on one of the television sites.  He noted that my story of "Rainman goes to Rockwiz" was next to another story about a mother and her child.  Apparently he noted that the mother-child story received over 720 comments, while my Rainman story only received 5.   This is despite the fact that both stories went to air on the same night, at the same time, on the same channel.

So to conclude, this is not about thinking the worst, or trying to be pessimistic, but just to realise that as an Asperger, there's no real fame or party.  It is a constant reality check and a bite of the tongue every-day. 

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